work hard and be nice to people.

While I usually try to
keep things pretty charming over here, parts of my life haven’t been quite so
lovely as of late. And while I usually keep pretty quiet when things are less
than fabulous, I realize that I’m not always being the most authentic when I don’t
share the less than charming parts of my life too. So if you’re not down for
getting a little personal, feel free to skip this post – but if you are, I hope
you can find part of this you can relate to as well.
My motto in life has always been, “work hard and be nice to
people”, and I always thought that if you had those two things, life would be
smooth sailing. Be kind to everyone, work your butt off, instant good karma,
sweet vibes, good times only, and on and on and on. Really, I thought
everything else would fall into place. And like most good mottos, they work
most of the time – but I’m coming to learn that they don’t quite work all of
the time. And sometimes life is just really
freaking hard, and there aren’t too many good vibes to be found.
I always love reading those articles where celebrities and
successful people share what they’d tell their 20-something year old self, knowing
what they know now. And I can’t help but wonder what my 30-something self is
going to tell my 25-year-old self too. I hope she tells me that what’s meant to
be will be, that the big things that are scary and sad right now won’t be such
big things after all. And I hope she tells me that life is going to get really
freaking glorious in a few years – I just have to wait it out for a little
while and keep working hard and being nice to people. If she told me that I
also won the lottery and finally got a mini-horse, I’d definitely be cool with
that too.
I guess what I’m trying to say (in a round about way) is that
things aren’t always what they appear. Life isn’t always sunshine and roses –
or the pretty things on your Instagram feed, and I think it’s silly that we
always try to pretend that it is. Keeping up appearances can be really dumb
sometimes, and when we all pretend that things are lovely we make other people
feel like they need to pretend life is lovely too. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all
about privacy (thus the very vague blog post), but it’s okay to be having a
really crap time, and letting people know that you’re having a really crap time
too. So, I’m breaking up with pretending that everything’s charming when it’s
not, and I’m going to try to keep it a little real when things get real –
because they always inevitably do.

So if you’re having a crap time, I hope things get better –
and I hope you don’t feel like you have to pretend that life is great in your
corner of the world when it’s not. And most importantly, I’m giving you a big
virtual hug – because we could always use a lot more of those. Xx
  • Speaking to my soul right now, sister. When it rains, it pours, right?
    You're in my thoughts- I hope things get better for you soon. Positive vibes your way!

    Le Stylo Rouge

  • I'm convinced more than ever now that we are kindred spirits. Thanks for this post, girl – we all need a reminder to keep it real sometimes. You're in my thoughts, and I hope whatever crap time you're going through is over soon. I'm sending a big virtual hug right back at ya! xo

  • Love this post and I hope everything is alright. If not, rest assured it will be! I have those days/weeks/months that are prettttttyy rough and I know there are several more to come. Mucho love

  • I wholeheartedly believe that keeping it real is the only way to go. I'm sorry that you're having such a shitastic time right now. If you want a really good story about what I was doing during the ages of ohhh 23-25 …you have my number 😉

  • Thanks for sharing such an authentic post! I love your heart lady 🙂

  • I like personal posts the best- no need to apologize for writing something "not charming" haha I do it all the time! 🙂 We all have these moments, it's just that not everyone admits to them so openly like you just did. Hang in there- I'm sending good thoughts your way

  • This may not be your 30-year-old self talking, but it's your 28-year-old friend, and I'm here to tell you that I know FOR SURE that what’s meant to be will be, the big things that are scary and sad right now won’t be such big things after all, and life is going to get really freaking glorious way faster than a few years.

    Also, you will totally own a mini-horse one day.

    Love you so, so much!!! Keep your head up! Isn’t That Charming.

  • Love that you're striving towards the positivity but also realize you can get annoyed and angry every once in a while. Thanks for being real! Work hard and be kind is also my motto 🙂

  • Maya – you are so inspiring for keeping it real! It is so hard to share, so I majorly applaud you! I am so sorry you are having a crappy time. I obviously don't know what you are going through but I hope you are okay little lady. Given I am in my thirties, I wanted to share something that has really helped me push through the bad times. I don't know if it will speak to you and it probably will not make you feel better, but it has given me such strength to "hang in there" and comfort knowing good things are to come when you feel like you want to just give up on life. So here it is!

    Life is full of downs unfortunately – they are inevitable for EVERYONE and there are most likely worse things to come. Whether you are rich, poor, married, single, career, no career, etc. But the good news? Life is full of incredible things too (and so many of the best things haven't even happened to us yet!). Last year I combed through my life and wrote down the worst of the worst and the best of the best that has ever happened to me. And I kid you not, I noticed a trend – all the amazing things were a direct result of the bad things (my mom's cancer – I started blogging; a breakup – I met my husband; my grandpa's death – I started Garnish & Glam; hated my job with a passion (I was crying every day for months) – went out on my own, etc.). It definitely sucks (big time!) and there is nothing anyone can say or do to make it better. And you may never get over some of these things. But those bad things are what inspire you; help you figure out what you DON'T want; and light a fire under your a$$. Then a little seed is born inside of you and you don't even know it is there – then one day that little something grows into something amazing and incredible – it is so gradual that you don't even know it is happening. And then one day you are happy again and on top of the world. It takes time (forever it seems!), but I PROMISE, good things are to come your way. You are so talented, beautiful and seriously an inspiration to me. So hang in there. In the mean time there is alcohol, ice cream and friends 🙂 Thank you again for sharing your feelings today and being honest. HUGE hug your way. xoxo!

    -Nicole: Cedar & Rush

  • I think it is healthy and good to share when things are not so great! I wrote a long, very long post a couple weeks ago about being in the dumps lately. This year has all-around been a struggle for me, I've made a lot of great memories and had some amazing times, don't get me wrong, but it seems I've also had challenge after challenge. Being 26, I am feeling completely lost. Like please someone just tell me what to do with my life because I have no idea and it is so frustrating to not know! So I'm with ya there girl, I hope we can look back in our thirties and realize the things that seemed so scary, frustrating and unsure will all make sense for why they had to happen.

    Keep up your positive attitude because even if it isn't true right now, being kind and working your butt off WILL get you to where you want to go. I am not a patient person, so that's hard for me to understand too. Waiting is no fun, but I'm confident you will get through what you are feeling now and it will all make sense 🙂 Email me if you ever want to vent! –

  • I'm someone who believes that everything happens for a reason. I have been through some pretty rough patches in my life and those experiences have taught me a lot and made me appreciate the great patches. Life is full of ups and downs. Without those downs we would not continue to grow as individuals, to be stronger than we ever knew we could, and we would never truly know who we are if we did not at some point in our life struggle. Appreciate the bad times for what they have taught you and enjoy the good times because they show how you have grown. And don't ever feel like you have to hold it together or hide the bad times. Let it out. Cry if you wanna cry. Break things if you wanna break things. Scream if you wanna scream. Get it out, and realize that being honest with how you feel makes you stronger rather than weaker.

    I wish you the best…sending throughs of Ben and Jerry's your way!

    Sarah Jessica

  • I hope that things look up soon Maya, and I understand 🙂

  • "…What lies ahead, I have no way of knowing
    But under my feet, baby, grass is growing…"

    **Hugs** — Can't wait to see you!

  • We're at the weirdest time in our lives ever, but every little things gonna be alright! I love love love you to pieces! I'm here for you always <3 thank you for keepin it real!